The Best of Henry Kuttner Henry Kuttner

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"I wish you'd leave us alone," I said. "You and your commission!"
"Forget about the commission. I've decided to handle this privately for a while. Provided
you'll cooperate. Help me, I mean. Will you do that?"
"Nope," I said.
"Then I'll bring the commission down from New York," he said triumphantly.
I thought that over.
'Well," I said finally, "what do you want me to do?"
"I don't know yet," he said slowly. "My mind hasn't fully grasped the possibilities."
But he was getting ready to grab. I could tell. I know that look.
I was standing by the window looking out, and all of a sudden I got an idea. I figgered it
wouldn't be smart to trust the Perfesser too much, anyhow. So I sort of ambled over to the
shotgun gadget and made a few little changes on it.
I knew what I wanted to do, all right, but if Galbraith had asked me why I was twisting a
wire here and bending a 'whozis there I couldn't of told him. I got no eddication. Only now
I knew the gadget would do what I wanted it to do.
The Perfesser had been writing in his little notebook. He looked up and saw me.
'What are you doing?" he wanted to know.
"This don't look right to me," I said. "I think you monkeyed with them batteries. Try it
now."
"In here?" he said, startled. "I don't want to pay a bill for damages. It must be tested under
safety conditions."
"See the weathercock out there, on the roof?" I pointed it out to him. 'Won't do no harm to
aim at that. You can just stand here by the winder and try it out."
"It-it isn't dangerous?" He was aching to try the gadget, I could tell. I said it wouldn't kill
nobody, and he took a long breath and went to the window and cuddled the stock of the
gun against his cheek.
I stayed back aways. I didn't want the Sheriff to see me. I'd already spotted him, sitting on
a bench outside the feed-and-grain store across the street.
It happened just like I thought. Galbraith pulled the trigger, aiming at the weathercock on
the roof, and rings of light started coming out of the muzzle. There was a fearful noise.
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Galbraith fell flat on his back, and the commotion was something surprising. People began
screaming all over town.
I kinda felt it might be handy if I went invisible for a while. So I did.
Gaibraith was examining the shotgun gadget when Sheriff Abernathy busted in. The
Sheriff's a hard case. He had his pistol out and handcuffs ready, and he was cussing the
Perfesser immediate and rapid.
"I seen you!" he yelled. "You city fellers think you can get away with anything down here.
Well, you can't!"
"Saunk!" Galbraith cried, looking around. But of course he couldn't see me.
Then there was an argument. Sheriff Abernathy had seen Galbraith fire the shotgun gadget
and he's no fool. He drug Galbraith down on the street, and I come along, walking soft.
People were running around like crazy. Most of them had their hands clapped to their
faces.
The Perfesser kept wailing that he didn't understand.
"I seen you!" Abernathy said. "You aimed that dingus of yours out the window and the next
thing everybody in town's got a toothache! Try and tell me you don't understand!"
The Sheriff's smart. He's known us Hogbens long enough so he ain't surprised when funny
things happen sometimes. Also, he knew Galbraith was a scientist feller. So there was a
ruckus and people heard what was going on and the next thing they was trying to lynch
Galbraith.
But Abernathy got him away. I wandered around town for a while. The pastor was out
looking at his church windows, which seemed to puzzle him. They was stained glass, and
he couldn't figger out why they was hot. I coulda told him that. There's gold in stained-
glass windows; they use it to get a certain kind of red.
Finally I went down to the jailhouse. I was still invisible. So I eavesdropped on what
Galbraith was saying to the Sheriff.
"It was Saunk Hoghen," the Perfesser kept saying. "I tell you, he fixed that projector!"
"I saw you," Abernathy said. "You done it. Ow!" He put up his hand to his jaw. "And you
better stop it, fast! That crowd outside means business. Half the people in town have got
toothaches."
I guess half the people in town had gold fillings in their teeth.
Then Galbraith said something that didn't surprise me too much.
"I'm having a commission come down from New York, I meant to telephone the
foundation tonight, they'll vouch for me."
So he was intending to cross us up, all along. I kinda felt that had been in his mind.
"You'll cure this toothache of mine-and everybody else's-or I'll open the doors and let in
that lynch mob!" the Sheriff howled. Then he went away to put an icebag on his cheek.
I snuck back aways, got visible again and made a lot of noise coming along the passage, so
Galbraith could hear me. I waited till he got through cussing me out. I just looked stupid.
"I guess I made a mistake," I said. "I can fix it, though."
"You've done enough fixing!" He stopped. 'Wait a minute. What did you say? You can cure
this-what is it?"
"I been looking at that shotgun gadget," I said. "I think I know what I did wrong. It's sorta
tuned in on gold now, and all the gold in town's shooting out rays or heat or something."
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"Induced selective radioactivity," Galbraith muttered, which didn't seem to mean much.
"Listen. That crowd outside-do they ever have lynchings in this town?"
"Not more'n once or twice a year," I said. "And we already had two this year, so we filled
our quota. Wish I could get you up to our place, though. We could hide you easy."
"You'd better do something!" he said. "Or I'll get that commission down from New York.
You wouldn't like that, would you?"
I never seen such a man fer telling lies and keeping a straight face.
"It's a cinch," I said. "I can rig up the gadget so it'll switch off the rays immediate. Only I
don't want people to connect us Hogbens with what's going on. We like to live quiet. Look,
s'pose I go back to your hotel and change over the gadget, and then all you have to do is get
all the people with toothaches together and pull the trigger."
"But-well, but-"
He was afraid of more trouble. I had to talk him into it. The crowd was yelling outside, so it [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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