Frankowski, Leo Tank 1 A Boy and His Tank

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also meant that he probably had a human observer on board. At least that was the way they did it when
they sworemy tank in. But the human had to be sleeping or something, since I couldn't have gotten this
far talking to a real live person, no matter how dumb he was. Humans are sneakier and less trusting than
machines.
"No, of course not! I wouldn't dream of such a thing! What we are going to do is in the best interests of
the glorious Serbian Army, I assure you. After all, my co-workers are already installing the fix that we've
come up with on the Croatian Army, and if your forces don't get it too, you will be fighting under a
considerable disadvantage! It could mean losing the whole war!"
"I SHOULD CALL MY SUPERIORS."
"No! Wait! Think about what will happen! If the Serbian High Command gets wind of a design flaw,
they'll have to tell the politicians, and you know whatthey're all like. The stupid politicians will
undoubtedly file a law suit against New Kashubia for shipping them defective goods. New Kashubia will
then have no choice but to file a law suit against Rolls-Ford for our design error. My co-workers and I
will be immediately recalled, pending the outcome of the lawsuits, which could take years. In the
meanwhile, well, the flaw was first discovered when a Croatian tank destroyed fifty-seven of her own
team mates before she herself was blown up. Naturally, the factory reps in Croatia were the first ones to
work on the problem and when they came up with a fix, of course they immediately started use it on the
nearest tanks. It has already been installed in the enemy army. In fact, we did it on the sly, don't you see,
and the Croatian generals don't know a thing about it. After all, we don't want the Croatians to start any
law suits against us either. So you see, contacting your superiors could easily start a chain of events that
costs your noble side the war. And really, all I want to do is to install the same minor programming
change in your division that my co-workers are installing in the rest of your glorious forces."
That all came out right while I was thinking it up. I am sure that Great-Grandpa would be pretty proud of
me, although I think the funny-colored pills may have had a lot to do with it.
"HUMANS CERTAINLY HAVE A CONVOLUTED WAY OF DOING THINGS, BUT I CAN
SEE SOME SHREDS OF LOGIC IN WHAT YOU ASK. BUT FIRST, I MUST ASK MORE
SPECIFICS ABOUT THE PROGRAMMING CHANGES YOU WANT TO MAKE ON ME."
Except that I don't know anything about programming! Then again, maybe he didn't know anything
either. One could always hope.
"Good. That's exactly what I want to do. You see, the problem is a complicated one, and difficult for a
logical mind like yours to comprehend. Now, an associative mind, well, you have an observer on board,
don't you?"
"YES, BUT SHE IS IN HER SECOND DAY OF TRAINING AND SHOULD NOT BE
DISTURBED."
Well, that shot down plan A, which was to talk him into opening up his coffin, then pulling his memory
module, which would have rendered him cataleptic. I would then have plenty of time to put a knife in the
observer, take the man's place and ride merrily home with Agnieshka. But with a woman on board, well,
I knew I couldn't bring myself to knife a woman in her sleep, not even if she was ugly. And there was
also the fact that her catheter wouldn't fit. On to plan B.
"Well, that's some relief. You won't need reprogramming at all. I mean, if you have a human woman on
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board, you have adopted a male persona, and there hasn't been the slightest problem with any ofthem at
all."
"I, TOO, AM RELIEVED. A SENTIENT MACHINE LOOKS FORWARD TO
REPROGRAMMING WITH ALL THE EAGERNESS OF A HUMAN LOOKING FORWARD TO
A LOBOTOMY. BUT I STILL MUST KNOW MORE ABOUT THE FIX THAT YOU PLAN TO
INSTALL."
He had not been sidetracked, and I hadn't learned anything new about programming in the last few
minutes. But Uncle Wlodzimierz says that geniuses are just as incomprehensible as the abysmally
ignorant, and in fact it's hard to tell them apart.
Maybe the tank would think that I was just way over his head. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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