Anital Loos Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (pdf)

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Beekman was to great a price to pay for a couple of rounds of
champagne cocktails. But I told Dorothy that I always believe
that there is nothing like trying and I think it would be nice for
an American girl like I to educate an English gentleman like
Piggie, as I call Sir Francis Beekman.
So then we went back to the table and I almost have to admit
that Dorothy is in the right about Piggie because he really likes
to talk quite a lot and he is always talking about a friend of his
who was quite a famous King in London called King Edward.
So Piggie said he would never never forget the jokes King
Edward was always saying and he would never forget one time
they were all on a yacht and they were all sitting at a table and
King Edward got up and said I don t care what you gentlemen
do I m going to smoke a cigar. So then Piggie laughed very,
very loud. So of course I laughed very, very loud and I told
Piggie he was wonderful the way he could tell jokes. I mean you
can always tell when to laugh because Piggie always laughs
first.
So in the afternoon a lot of lady friends of Mrs. Weeks heard
about me buying the diamond tiara and called us up and asked
us to their house to tea so Dorothy and I went and we took a
gentleman Dorothy met in the lobby who is very, very good
looking but he is only an English ballroom dancer in a cafe
when he has a job.
So we went to tea to a lady s house called Lady Elmsworth
and what she has to sell we Americans seems to be a picture of
her father painted in oil paint who she said was a whistler. But
I told her my own father was a whistler and used to whistle all
of the time and I did not even have a picture of him but every
time he used to go to Little Rock I asked him to go to the
photographers but he did not go.
So then we met a lady called Lady Chizzleby that wanted us
to go to her house to tea but we told her that we really did not
want to buy anything. But she said that she did not have
anything to sell but she wanted to borrow five pounds. So we
did not go and I am really glad that Mr. Eisman did not come to
London as all the English ladys would ask him to tea and he
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes 33
would have a whole ship load of shell flowers and dogs and
anteek pictures that do nobody any good.
So last night Piggie and I and Dorothy and the dancer who is
called Gerald went to the Kit Kat Club as Gerald had nothing
better to do because he is out of a job. So Dorothy and I had
quite a little quarrel because I told Dorothy that she was
wasting quite a lot of time going with any gentleman who is out
of a job but Dorothy is always getting to really like somebody
and she will never learn how to act. I mean I always seem to
think that when a girl really enjoys being with a gentleman, it
puts her to quite a disadvantage and no real good can come of
it.
Well tonight is going to be quite a night because Major
Falcon is going to take Dorothy and I to a dance at a lady s
house tonight to meet the Prince of Wales. And now I must get
ready to see Piggie because he and I seem to be getting to be
quite good friends even if he has not sent me any flowers yet.
April 19th:
Last night we really met the Prince of Wales. I mean Major
Falcon called for Dorothy and I at eleven and took us to a ladys
house where the lady was having a party. The Prince of Wales
is really wonderful. I mean even if he was not a prince he would
be wonderful, because even if he was not a prince, he would be
able to make his living playing the ukelele, if he had a little
more practice. So the lady came up to me and told me that the
Prince of Wales would like to meet me, so she gave us an
introduction to one another and I was very very thrilled when
he asked me for a dance. So I decided I would write down every
word he said to me in my diary so I could always go back and
read it over and over when I am really old. So then we started
to dance and I asked him if he was still able to be fond of
horses, and he said he was. So after our dance was all over he
asked Dorothy for a dance but Dorothy will never learn how to
act in front of a prince. Because she handed me her fan and she
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes 34
said Hold this while I slip a new page into English histry,
right in front of the Prince of Wales. So I was very very worried
while Dorothy was dancing with the Prince of Wales because
she talked to the Prince of Wales all the time and when she got
through the Prince of Wales wrote some of the slang words she
is always saying on his cuff, so if he tells the Queen some day to
be a good Elk or some other slang word Dorothy is always
saying, the Queen will really blame me for bringing such a girl
into English society. So when Dorothy came back we had quite
a little quarrel because Dorothy said that since I met the Prince
of Wales I was becoming too English. But really, I mean to say,
I often remember papa back in Arkansas and he often used to
say that his grandpa came from a place in England called
Australia, so really, I mean to say, it is no wonder that the
English seems to come out of me sometimes. Because if a girl
seems to have an English accent I really think it is quite jolly.
April 20th:
Yesterday afternoon I really thought I ought to begin to
educate Piggie how to act with a girl like American gentlemen
act with a girl. So I asked him to come up to have tea in our
sitting room in the hotel because I had quite a headache. I
mean I really look quite cute in my pink negligay. So I sent out
a bell hop friend of Dorothy and I who is quite a nice boy who is [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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